Actual conversation over dinner (with apologies if you are eating your dinner):
Me: The doctor says we need to send in a... uh... specimen... so they can figure out why e-baby's feeling so poopy lately.
SNG: Oh, that'll be fun.
Me: Well, actually they need 4 specimens. I already did the first two and there wasn't enough poop.
SNG: So now we're waiting for another poop?
Me: Yeah. And it's your turn. You have to fill the containers until the liquid solution reaches to the "fill line." It makes me throw up a little.
SNG: Eew. Do they at least give you a spork?
Me: Yeah. It has 2 prongs.
SNG: Oh GOD I was kidding about the spork!
Now you can, in some small way, join in the fun we've been having this week.